It's Too Helpful To Keep To Myself
Thought loops are like mental whirlpools (or quicksand if you grew up in the 80’s and 90’s…was that a core fear for you too?!), you try to get out, but the harder you fight, the more you feel pulled.
We had such a powerful time together on the webinar last night, thank you to everyone who came! It was honest, insightful, and such a reminder that we’re not alone when our thoughts feel overwhelming.
Key Takeaways From Last Nights Webinar That Are Too Helpful To Keep To Ourselves
Thought loops are like mental whirlpools (or quicksand if you grew up in the 80’s and 90’s…was that a core fear for you too?!), you try to get out, but the harder you fight, the more you feel pulled back in.
Four key drivers (plus a little insight into your RAS) work together behind the scenes to keep your mind spinning:
Fear. “This might hurt me”
The brain is wired for survival. When it perceives a thought as a potential threat, even if it's irrational or internal, it keeps flagging it up to protect you.
The amygdala (your brain's threat detector) lights up and alerts your system:
It’s like your brain keeps setting off the smoke alarm because someone once lit a candle. It doesn’t distinguish between real fire and imagined danger, it just wants to keep you safe.
So the more you fear the thought ("What if this means something terrible?"), the more your brain believes it's urgent.
2. Shame. “I shouldn’t be thinking this”
This adds emotional weight to the thought. Now it’s not just a thought, it’s a moral failure or identity issue.
This shame response activates the same areas of the brain as physical pain. So now your brain is not only on high alert for threat, it's also trying to avoid rejection and judgement. That pain reinforces the loop.
3. Suppression. “Don’t think about it!”
Trying not to think about something actually makes you think about it more. This is known as ironic process theory, your brain has to keep checking to see if you're still thinking about the thing you’re trying not to think about.
Your brain mistakenly tags it as important, just because it's recurring.
Like trying to hold a beachball under water—it just pops up harder.
4. Rumination. “What if I can solve this by thinking more?”
Rumination feels productive, but it really is not. It tricks you into believing that if you just keep thinking about it, you’ll figure it out or feel better.
But often, the loop never reaches resolution, especially if it’s emotionally charged, shame-based, or rooted in fear.
It’s like using a spade to dig your way out of a hole.
The Role of the Reticular Activating System (RAS)
The RAS is like your brain's search filter—it decides what information gets through to your conscious mind based on what it thinks is important.
If you’re anxious or fearful, your RAS will scan your environment for anything that confirms a threat, including:
A vague look from someone
A change in your heartbeat
A random memory
It doesn’t filter for truth-it filters for relevance. So if you keep looping anxious or shame-based thoughts, the RAS will serve up evidence to match, even if it’s imagined or irrational.
Summary
Your brain thinks it’s helping by sounding the fire alarm every time a candle is lit.
Shame throws petrol on the flame.
Suppression pushes the smoke under the rug (which doesn’t work).
Rumination circles the house trying to find the source of smoke but never puts it out.
Meanwhile, the RAS keeps handing you more smoke detectors just in case you missed one.
If you missed it or want to go deeper...
✨ For Faith-Filled Collective Subscribers:
Here’s what’s waiting for you below:
An audio recording of the webinar to re-listen or catch up
Some gentle journal starters to help you notice, name, and reframe what’s happening in your thought life
A link to the Faith Filled collective Connection Call in which we will go even deeper on this topic and personalise it for you
A link to our monthly journal Room-a space for you to process and go deeper with your thoughts.
Scroll down to access it all.